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[personal profile] rainspirit
Through inaction, I made a decision that I feel okay about.

I just need to make sure it doesn't hurt me.

I'm talking to a counselor at school. Hopefully that'll turn out for the good.

Need to recognize my limits. I'm starting to see a pattern stretching back to 2008, and I'm eager to break it. Does mean that I need to start writing down goals, taking control of my life. Listening to the voices that encourage me to succeed.

For half a decade now, I've stumbled around with no direction. In this year, I've become envious of people who've already made it, jealous of the success of others. But I'm not like them. I need a bit more time to get where they were. Part of me still wants to become famous, but I don't need that much money... just enough to drink loose leaf tea when I like, put maple syrup on my pancakes, have a reservoir of purified water and a steady, powerful internet connection.

I went back to school to regain my confidence. And to an extent, I did. It served its purpose. Now I just need to get independent, become better at managing myself. Squash the evil voices in my mind.

I have a community that supports me, to an extent. And I need to support them back, be one of them for a while.

I have a gift of seeing things clearly, and articulating them well. I can be a voice for people who can't speak for themselves. The thought is exciting.
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Rainspirit

May 2013

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