(no subject)
Apr. 7th, 2011 05:26 pmDone with school till September. What I have done a week since then has been extremely unhealthy.
I'm feeling headaches. Haven't eaten enough. Stayed inside, mostly; in the library now. Got shopping bags, for shopping, but right now I'm trying to decide what to do.
I don't know how all the money got spent. I thought I saved behind at least $200, but apparently not. Nothing in my savings. How did it go so fast? Why does this keep surprising me?
Have to write that letter. Have to figure out how to sell the textbooks for some extra cash. And then? Should I even bother with my project for Seattle?
Tomorrow's moving day. Still haven't figured out how that's going to work. Been killing myself with this addiction of mine. Ruining my sleep.
Tired of taking care of myself. Everything I do, everything I try to oppose just drains me. It never feels like I'm becoming a stronger person, it just feels like I'm fighting against myself every step of the way, until my mind's resolve weakens into nothing.
So many goddamn things to do before I leave. And for three days I've done nothing.
Trying not to slip into self-loathing. Trying. Once I get a proper meal I'll be better, but I'm just feeling awful at the moment.
I'm feeling headaches. Haven't eaten enough. Stayed inside, mostly; in the library now. Got shopping bags, for shopping, but right now I'm trying to decide what to do.
I don't know how all the money got spent. I thought I saved behind at least $200, but apparently not. Nothing in my savings. How did it go so fast? Why does this keep surprising me?
Have to write that letter. Have to figure out how to sell the textbooks for some extra cash. And then? Should I even bother with my project for Seattle?
Tomorrow's moving day. Still haven't figured out how that's going to work. Been killing myself with this addiction of mine. Ruining my sleep.
Tired of taking care of myself. Everything I do, everything I try to oppose just drains me. It never feels like I'm becoming a stronger person, it just feels like I'm fighting against myself every step of the way, until my mind's resolve weakens into nothing.
So many goddamn things to do before I leave. And for three days I've done nothing.
Trying not to slip into self-loathing. Trying. Once I get a proper meal I'll be better, but I'm just feeling awful at the moment.