Alone with my thoughts.

[rainspirit]

I've always been bad at asking people for things.

Asking for help, asking for my money back, asking the person in the back of the movie theatre to please not be so loud. I mean, I can do it, but not with much force or conviction. And so it is that it occurs to me that I wish I knew how to get a study partner, someone I could work with, discuss things with, focus on matters instead of drifting off into dream-land. Someone who could keep me on track.

At least that way I wouldn't be in this rut.

I am interested in this essay. I am. I love the fact that I hit the target and it's all coming together. But it requires such a powerful initiative on my part, to keep focused, to keep hitting the target, to keep going and going and powering through... and I don't think I'm cut out for it. And I wish I could ask for help, I wish someone could stay up with me, but all I have is myself and I am a terrible taskmaster.

I want to. I want to. I want to finish this essay draft and email it so I can sleep, and get up for scene shop, and stay awake for two hours and fifty minutes while he goes on about the mathematical precision of theatre style flats and what not, before going off to either ushering or rehearsal or god knows what, and then working on the final draft of this essay which has to be done for thursday has to be done...

Has to be done.

It's not as bad as the last essay, though. There's less angst. I feel more in control of the subject matter. So... an improvement, I suppose.

I'll just be happy to see the weekend.

I need to find the recording device. I've missed a couple theatre classes and I need to catch up on the notes. This is my task for reading break. Please god let me find a way to stay on task.

I need to get back to this. Stop being distracted. Wish I had someone to talk to.

Comments

study partner

[(Anonymous)]

I think a study partner is a fantastic idea, and now you've thought of it, perhaps the right person will come along...or you will notice a likely candidate who's already in your life. In the meantime, you still and always have me...heck, even Jess is still using me as her "best editor," and she's applying for her PhD for heaven's sake. It's an honour and a pleasure to help either or both of you...anytime of day or night. A tu servicio siempre!