Anti-Raccoon Jo-Stick
Jul. 14th, 2011 04:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rainspiritI'm a bit of a strange boy. But the world would be plenty strange without me.
Sometimes I don't know why I bother with trying to figure out human beings. The more I analyze it, the more it gets so nitty-gritty... the conflict, the mishearings, misinterpretations and misunderstandings, the pauses for comprehension and the times one speaks rashly, in any things I'd rather not attempt to hurt. My brain isn't hard-wired to deal with outright aggression. I trip over my words, say things I'd rather not have said. More than that, I don't like knowing I've wronged someone - if that happens, then my resolve crumbles. I want to apologize for it, even if there are points I'd still wish to defend. Even if there are some principles I stand by.
I haven't lost all my friends here at the school. That's good, at least. The staff I care about are still here for me.
I'm going to be a little bit of a mess tomorrow. Kind of regret that. At the same time, having difficulties. Sweat rash is getting worse than ever. Kitchen gloves feel like they're triggering some kind of allergic reaction. Not so good. Also cut myself on a tin can today, had to spray it with antiseptic and put a band-aid over it. Then I had to submerge my hand in lukewarm, dirty water a bunch more times. We'll see how THAT goes.
God, it's barely past the first half of the first month and I'm already depriving myself of sleep and stressing out. Not as bad as I could, but still.
I'm really enjoying the new game I'm in. It's making me happy, and it's good to be part of a community again. I was missing the interactions, the flirts, the geeky sharing of literature, the feeling of superiority one gets of flaunting some bloody obscure thing no one's over heard about. (That last one's said partially with irony, though I am a rather large snob at times. Geh.)
iPod's still here. Got all my music on it, which is a godsend. Wish I knew if there was a way of extracting music OFF it, though. Bet Apple discourages it; clamping down on filesharing.
I feel a little icky, but that's okay. I'll just get through. I always do in the end.
I really want to start writing that book.
Sometimes I don't know why I bother with trying to figure out human beings. The more I analyze it, the more it gets so nitty-gritty... the conflict, the mishearings, misinterpretations and misunderstandings, the pauses for comprehension and the times one speaks rashly, in any things I'd rather not attempt to hurt. My brain isn't hard-wired to deal with outright aggression. I trip over my words, say things I'd rather not have said. More than that, I don't like knowing I've wronged someone - if that happens, then my resolve crumbles. I want to apologize for it, even if there are points I'd still wish to defend. Even if there are some principles I stand by.
I haven't lost all my friends here at the school. That's good, at least. The staff I care about are still here for me.
I'm going to be a little bit of a mess tomorrow. Kind of regret that. At the same time, having difficulties. Sweat rash is getting worse than ever. Kitchen gloves feel like they're triggering some kind of allergic reaction. Not so good. Also cut myself on a tin can today, had to spray it with antiseptic and put a band-aid over it. Then I had to submerge my hand in lukewarm, dirty water a bunch more times. We'll see how THAT goes.
God, it's barely past the first half of the first month and I'm already depriving myself of sleep and stressing out. Not as bad as I could, but still.
I'm really enjoying the new game I'm in. It's making me happy, and it's good to be part of a community again. I was missing the interactions, the flirts, the geeky sharing of literature, the feeling of superiority one gets of flaunting some bloody obscure thing no one's over heard about. (That last one's said partially with irony, though I am a rather large snob at times. Geh.)
iPod's still here. Got all my music on it, which is a godsend. Wish I knew if there was a way of extracting music OFF it, though. Bet Apple discourages it; clamping down on filesharing.
I feel a little icky, but that's okay. I'll just get through. I always do in the end.
I really want to start writing that book.