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[personal profile] rainspirit
Wednesday, 1:18 AM.

Tonight the heavens spilled open for me. I gazed upon the stars and they revealed themselves to my eyes. Man's bright structures are but a dismal speck where I am situated.

Oddly enough, it makes me want to read more H.P. Lovecraft. Which is interesting, because the man wrote like he was terrified of stars. But really, I think he was enthralled with the mystery as much as anything else - the mystery of what's actually out there, good or ill.

I shouldn't write too much. Way past my bedtime and there's a couple things I need to do before I sleep. But it's nice to take a look at the sky every once in a while.

I haven't been lonely in a while. I don't feel the same romantic pangs that ask me to find someone to hold and cherish. I feel carnal urges of course, but those are somewhat suppressed in light of my summer job, surrounded by nubile teenagers. Be good, you, be good, I remind myself in order to retain the fortitude of a monk. I should be a big brother to these kids, not a Casanova. (Or at the very least just a friendly face.)

But yes, lonely romantic desolation seems at a low, which I think is a good thing. I'm starting to think my habits are changed around in a way that makes me think differently... about the world, about myself. We'll see if all of it is good.

Good night.

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Rainspirit

December 2020

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